Step Ten: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

"After several years of recovery and doing vigorous work in completing Steps One to Nine, I felt I had arrived, that my work was done," says one long-time practitioner of the Twelve Steps. "I stopped talking regularly to a sponsor. I stopped going to as many meetings. I started 'going it alone' in the fellowship. I was shocked when after three years of recovery, I used one day. That led to two decades of repeated relapses."

This woman's desperation led her to a sponsor who required her to reread the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. While studying the suggestions for Step Ten, she recalls, "I realized something that I had been missing: daily work."

The Big Book's directions for daily work on this Step (page 84) include the following passage:

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

Long-time members of Twelve Step groups can read right past these familiar words. Yet within these simple declarative sentences are instructions for a lifetime of spiritual growth. Each word is consciously chosen, written with the precision of a scientific abstract and leaving nothing to accident.

Step Ten in context
Step Ten moves us forward in recovery by grounding us in the recovery work that we've already done. Continuing to "watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear" takes us back to Step Four. The suggestion to "discuss them with someone immediately" returns us to Step Five. Asking God to remove these character defects returns us to Steps Six and Seven. And making amends is the subject of Steps Eight and Nine.

"None of the Steps exist in isolation," says Fred Holmquist, director of the Lodge Program at Hazelden in Center City, Minn., as he reflects on the passage quoted above. "By following the instructions in just these three sentences, Step Ten is reminding me to do Steps Four through Nine every day."

What shifts, however, is the focus in time. Steps Four through Nine focus on our past attitudes and actions; Step Ten shines a spotlight on the present.

"Step Ten is really about doing Steps Four through Nine on a daily basis, in the here and now," says Mark Sheets, executive director of Regional and Recovery Management Services at Hazelden. "This calls for a willingness to change. We need to be continually transformed and grow spiritually."

A return to sanity
In asking God for help with Step Ten, we enter the world of the Spirit. While Steps One and Two lead to an admission of powerlessness and insanity, Step Ten brings the promise of this new world: sanity restored.

Here we find that the war between willpower and temptation simply disappears. Referring to alcohol, the Big Book describes this new level of existence: "We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality--safe and protected."

Moreover, this change is pure grace, a gift freely given from a source greater than ourselves. It happens automatically, as the Big Book puts it, without thought or effort: "It just comes! That is the miracle of it. . . . We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed." (page 85)

Along with this comes a radical change in outlook, especially in how we respond to negative feelings. As practicing addicts, we nursed resentments and blamed others for all our emotional disturbances. This is like going to a clinic for treatment and demanding that the doctor write a prescription--not for us, but for our family members, our friends, our coworkers, and anyone else who currently qualifies as an object of our resentment. The logic behind sustained anger is that we alone are sane, and that our disturbances will end when everyone else changes.

Contrast that with attitude suggested by Step Ten. "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us," notes the author of Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. "If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also." (page 90)

But what about incidents where we suffer genuine injustice and feel "justifiable" anger in response? "For us of AA these are dangerous exceptions," according to the 12 x 12 text. "We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."

Daily growth
Step Ten is often described as a "maintenance" step. In reality, it is much more than just preserving our spiritual status quo. It is about continuing to change and grow, and doing so on a daily basis.

If we don't work Step Ten today, then our spiritual life will start to die. Character defects will crop up again. Over time, we risk the danger described in A Program for You: A Guide to the Big Book's Design for Living: "These resentments and fears will begin to block you off from your Higher Power, and eventually you could start telling yourself that you can safely drink or use again, which, if left unchallenged, will surely bring your physical death as well." (page 155)

Our initial work with Steps One through Nine brings us a flush of joy and a taste of serenity. At this point, some of us are tempted to slack off on the Steps. Again, this is risky.

"The brilliance of the disease is that it's easy to let up on the program and rest on our laurels," Holmquist says. "My humanness asserts itself by saying: Hey, you're probably working a little hard at this. You can afford to let up a little on this program of action. This is like getting an infection and letting up on the antibiotic program of action. You start feeling better after five days and choose to save the other five days of medicine for later. You've gone from being the patient to being the doctor--from being a student of the program to being a graduate and deciding to take a little vacation."

Daily reprieve, never cured
In reality, we never graduate. As recovering addicts, we are never cured. All we are granted is a "daily reprieve" based on our spiritual condition.

"You need to make Step Ten part of your routine," says Sheets. "If you don't do it daily, you forget about it. When you find things coming up on your inventory that you have an emotional hangover about--when an anger starts turning into resentment, or fears start being consistent--that's when you need to talk it through with someone who understands."

In explaining the spiritual nature of Step Ten, the Big Book bridges to instructions for prayer and meditation in Step Eleven and life of service described in Step Twelve. These Steps are intimately linked, says Delia Jurek, a specialist at the Dan Anderson Renewal Center: "They direct me away from dealing with life alone. They direct me to God and my fellows."

"My problem was not just learning how to put down my drug of choice," says the woman whose story began this article. "My problem was dealing with life. Here in Step Ten I have a plan to cope with life, a plan of daily action that will work each day that I work it."

Resources to help people work Step Ten

The Dan Anderson Renewal Center offers programs year-round at Hazelden's campus in Center City, Minn. Several of these programs can assist you with Step Ten, including intensive Big Book studies offered by the Lodge Program. More information is available by phone at 800-262-4882 or at hazelden.org/renewalcenter.

The following publications can also help you discover the power of Step Ten. They are available at hazelden.org/bookstore or by calling 800-328-9000.

• Alcoholics Anonymous, fourth edition (Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, 2001).
• A Program for You: A Guide to the Big Book's Design for Living (Hazelden, 1991).
• Twelve Step Sponsorship: How It Works by Hamilton B. (Hazelden, 1996).
• A Guide to the Big Book's Design for Living with Others: A Workbook for Steps 8-12 by Joanne Hubal and James Hubal (Hazelden, 1991).
• Step 10: Maintaining My New Life by Mel B. (Hazelden, 1992).
• Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, 1952).

Women do their 'dailies,' take inventory in Step Ten group

Was I resentful? Was I selfish? Was I dishonest? Was I afraid? Do I owe anyone an apology?

These are some of the questions the patients at the Women's Recovery Center in Center City routinely ask themselves at 8 p.m. each day following the evening lecture. They meet for a Step Ten group and take inventory of their day.

"In Step Ten, we take a personal inventory on a daily basis," says Brenda Iliff, director of clinical services for the Women's Recovery Center. "Steps Ten through Twelve are a summary of what we've already done. We just repeat these actions daily. These are sometimes called 'the dailies.' We need to continue doing the dailies, because they are vital to our recovery."

The women really love this group, adds Iliff. It gives them closure to their day, and it reminds them to practice Step Ten on a daily basis. Other Hazelden centers, including the Center for Youth and Families and Fellowship Club, implement Step Ten groups.

--by Doug Toft

Published in The Voice, Winter 2008