Four Generations Overcoming Addiction

Family learned addiction isn't a " phase"–
it's a disease

For Riley F., addiction started in middle school. At 12, he began experimenting with a variety of drugs—alcohol, marijuana, prescription pills—whatever was available. But then Riley discovered getting high could be as close as the kitchen cabinet.

Riley started “huffing” household cleaners, aerosols, and even gasoline. He began spending time tucked into the family garage next to a gas can, inhaling the fumes until he blacked out.

Riley’s mother Tammie, younger brother Jacob, and older sister Megan knew there was a problem. But at first, they were unaware of both the severity and the nature of Riley’s addiction.

"e had no idea what we were dealing with,” says Tammie. "e was huffing inhalants and I didn’t even know that existed. I didn’t know what to look for or what signs I was missing."

In 7th grade, Riley was caught with alcohol in school and suspended. His family sought counseling for him at that time, but Tammie says it was unsuccessful. "e thought we were addressing the issue, but then I would realize he had smoked pot or used alcohol again."

At 14, Riley began abusing gasoline daily, inhaling the fumes for hours after school.

"nce I figured out that it got me high, I did it every day until the first time I got caught,"says Riley. "My parents sent me to a detox center the next morning."

When Riley went into treatment, it was for eight days and Tammie felt it didn't help.

"I still didn't understand he was an addict and that addiction was a disease," says Tammie. "When he came back home, I wanted to be hopeful that things had changed, but we quickly saw that they hadn’t."

Although Riley continued to abuse other drugs, he did stop huffing for a short time. By the end of that summer, however, he’d turned once again to gasoline.

"I was huffing gas when I overdosed," Riley says. "I blacked out and my mom came home and found me. I got real irritated with her, and ran out into the woods behind our house. My brother and dad caught me and took me to the hospital. On the way, I started bleeding from my nose and mouth."

That incident would lead to Riley beginning a four-month stay at a residential treatment program. During that time, his family also began to educate themselves about the effects of addiction, both on Riley and on the entire family.

"I think I went through all of the normal feelings," says Tammie. "Before I went through a family addiction program, I had thought, 'If I can just check on him more, if I can just keep him busy, if I can just watch him more closely' then maybe he won’t use. We had no idea we were dealing with addiction."

Tammie participated in a parent education program while Riley was receiving treatment, and Riley’s brother Jacob participated in a sibling program.

Tammie says that with the education she and her children have received about addiction, they now feel better equipped to deal with the future.

"If there's a relapse, I'll know what to do," says Tammie. "I think a lot of parents know their kids are using, but they think they’re experimenting and they'll outgrow it. But some of the things that kids are using now are really dangerous. You can’t assume it’s a phase and it's going to go away. Once it becomes an addiction, it's something you're dealing with for the rest of your life."

Everyone in the family participates in some type of support program – Narcotics Anonymous, Nar-Anon – schedule, time and motivation permitting.
 
And just like all families, while Riley's doesn't agree on everything, they do have consensus in one area: education is key to learning about addiction leading a Twelve-Step life.