Kelly used cigarettes to literally create a smokescreen between her and other people. "It helped me to stuff my feelings," she recalls, describing many of her relationships at the time as unhealthy.

"This smokescreen prevented me from seeing this clearly and allowed me to hide and be in denial. Instead of examining my feelings in a healthy way, I smoked and stayed in unhealthy situations. This caused me to repeat the same mistakes over and over in my life."

That pattern changed when a friend introduced Kelly to Nicotine Anonymous (NicA). She joined, and today she's well into her second year as a nonsmoker.

NicA is a mutual-help group of people who support each other to live nicotine-free. The group's doors are open to anyone who wants to quit using tobacco products of any form. Also welcome is anyone in a smoking cessation program--including people who use devices such as the nicotine patch to gradually eliminate the craving for this chemical.

The only requirement for joining NicA is the desire to abstain from nicotine. And all that's needed for an NicA meeting is two or more people who are open to change and willing to share their experience with living nicotine-free. There are no dues or membership fees. Groups sustain themselves through voluntary donations.

NicA bases its recovery program on the Twelve Steps as adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous. One way to understand how these Steps work is to relate them to the Serenity Prayer, often used in Twelve Step groups: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

This prayer can be interpreted in a nonsectarian way, for use even by atheists and agnostics. The key is to focus on the principles of acceptance, courage, and wisdom.

• To members of NicA, acceptance means knowing that they cannot control the strength of their craving for nicotine. Instead of denying or fighting this craving, they fully admit its physical and psychological power.
• Members also learn to deal with craving in ways that do not involve lighting up a cigarette or digging into a can of chewing tobacco. This is the courage to change by choosing a new response--finding ways to live with a craving until it passes.
• Of course, this can be hard. So, NicA emphasizes the wisdom of turning to a Higher Power for strength. This can be any source of outside help. For some people, it is the God of a religious tradition. For others, it is simply their NicA group or the example set by a sponsor--a mentor who has longer experience with the program.

Kelly recalls that she was initially turned off by talk of God or a Higher Power. Still, she found enough value in NicA to stay with the program.

"When I feel like I want to smoke or I find myself in the midst of insanity, there are a variety of things I try to do to help myself get through it," Kelly notes. "I try to talk about it with my sponsor, say the Serenity Prayer, read some of the NicA literature ("Our Promises" is my favorite), or go to a meeting."

To learn more, contact Nicotine Anonymous World Services, 419 Main Street, PMB# 370, Huntington Beach, CA 92648. Information is also available by phone at 415-750-0328, by e-mail at info@nicotine-anonymous.org, or at http://www.nicotine-anonymous.org/.

You can find more resources for nicotine-free living during the Great American Smokeout, sponsored by the American Cancer Society (ACS). This annual event takes place Nov. 18 with activities planned at ACS chapters across the country. For more information, call 1-800-ACS-2345. Or go to http://www.cancer.org/ and search on "Great American Smokeout."

--Published November 15, 2004