According to a 2000 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report to Congress, about one-third of all children in foster care live with relatives. That number increases when you consider the informal kinship-care arrangements that are made by parents and other family members without any involvement from the child welfare or juvenile court systems. For instance, at the time of the 2000 U.S. Census, more than 2 million grandparents were raising 4.5 million children, and other relatives were raising an additional 1.5 million children.

It is a noble task to take on the extraordinary responsibility of full-time nurturing for children who cannot live with their parents. It can be a physical, emotional and financial drain, especially for grandparents who, contrary to the leisurely retirement they may have envisioned, struggle with the challenges of raising children again in a world that has changed significantly since their own children were young.

The Children of Alcoholics Foundation (COAF) estimates that 80 percent of kinship-care family arrangements are because of parental addiction. Because alcoholism often runs in families, it is important that kinship caregivers who care for children of alcohol- and drug-addicted parents educate themselves about the nature of addiction, the significance of prevention, and the hope of recovery. This could be an opportunity to break the cycle of addiction in a family. A thorough understanding of substance abuse can also help kinship caregivers and the children they are caring for support biological parents who are in treatment for addiction.

To help kinship caregivers deal with the fallout of a parent's substance abuse, COAF offers a number of free electronic resources at their Web site (http://www.coaf.org/). For example, the COAF site provides guidance about what to tell children of substance abusers, beginning with "the three C's:" Children cannot cause, control, or cure their parent's alcohol or drug problem.

COAF also stresses the necessity of discussing the concept of risk with children. It suggests developing a list of reasons not to drink or use drugs and another list of what to say or do when drugs or alcohol are offered. According to COAF, the best time for adults to talk about substance abuse is after they've done their own homework on drugs and alcohol. Choosing the appropriate time for drug talks and taking advantage of "teachable moments" is also important.

COAF says that because caregivers and the children they care for may have regular contact with the addicted parent, it is important to bring the whole family together to establish house rules, which can be posted in the house and shared with any social or caseworkers who might be involved. The rules can cover basics such as visiting hours, use of drugs or alcohol, the understanding that there can be no contact with the children if a parent is under the influence, and that no violence or threats of violence are ever allowed.

Children being raised by kin may require extra attention because of their past experiences with a parent. They may experience grief and loss or a sense of abandonment. They may be afraid, angry or insecure. Kinship caregivers might also be dealing with their own complex and confusing emotions surrounding a loved one's inability to parent. Despite these challenges, kinship caregivers often receive less support and fewer services than other foster parents. It is important for them to recognize that help is available.

In addition to COAF, information on services and support for kinship caregivers can be found at http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_kinshi/index.cfm. The Child Welfare League of America also has a list of links to national organizations at http://www.cwla.org/programs/kinship/nationallinks.htm. Minnesota Kinship Care Association (www.mkca.org) also offers a resource guide for kinship caregivers.

--Published February 5, 2007