Damion, age 15, was stabbed to death in Brooklyn by a classmate after an argument about a football game.

Oscar, 16, was shot with a rifle in a school parking lot in Tucson during a gang-related incident.

Chris, a 12-year-old boy from North Carolina, hanged himself with a jump rope. Students and adults who knew him said that the boy might have been bullied at school.

Most of us remember the killings at Columbine High School in Colorado. But other acts of teen violence -- even those as severe as the three above -- may not receive national media attention.

The National School Safety Center lists about 275 violent deaths associated with U.S. schools since 1992. The center also calls on schools to place safety at the center of the education agenda. Parents, teachers, administrators, and community members can heed this call. But any effort to stem school violence can succeed only when teens take an active part.

According to Earl Hipp, psychotherapist and author of Understanding the Human Volcano: What Teens Can Do about Violence, the first thing we can do is define violence carefully.

In his book, Hipp writes that violence is committed when someone uses any mean word, look, sign, or act that hurts a person's body, feelings, or things.

Although acts of physical violence are obvious, emotional violence sneaks into many parts of our lives, writes Hipp. In fact, physical violence is only part of a continuum that includes words and gestures that threaten a person's feelings or things. Given this definition of violence, it is easy to understand how each of us contributes to this problem, Hipp adds.

Teens can start, then, by intervening on behaviors on the low end of the violence continuum. For example, they can stop:

• Making mean gestures, such as giving someone the finger
• Making mean faces and threatening looks
• Teasing, taunting, name-calling, putting down someone
• Excluding their peers from social groups
• Committing physical acts such as hitting, pushing and unwanted touching.

A key behavior on the continuum of violence is bullying. This is a much bigger problem in schools than many people recognize, says William Voors, social worker and author of The Parents Book about Bullying. Most kids tell me that they believe bullying is wrong. But it's hard to resist a crowd and not bully when all your peers are doing it. I talk with these kids about having the courage to be compassionate toward those people who are different or don't fit in.

In addition, teens can gain skill in managing anger. This calls on us to recognize what Hipp calls the choice point -- the time between a violent behavior on someone else's part and a violent response on ours. If we can recognize this point and reflect on it, we can experience feelings of anger without acting on them in violent ways.

It's also easier for teens to choose a non-violent response when they stay free of alcohol and other drugs. Research cannot prove that using chemicals directly causes violent behavior. But studies indicate a clear link between chemical use and violence. For example, a study from the U.S. Department of Justice surveyed victims of violent crimes committed by offenders age 16 to 19. Survey respondents believed that 37 percent of the offenders were under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

Finally, teens can learn ways to resolve conflict without violence. This means openly acknowledging conflict and asking the people involved to negotiate possible solutions. Many schools offer peer-helper and peer-mediation programs to train teens in these skills.

The most basic thing that teens can do, Hipp believes, is to speak up early and often: Take the risk to point out the violence that you see or hear, even in its most innocent-looking forms. When you know it's safe, speak about violence when you see it happening. If for any reason you're not comfortable taking a direct stand, report what you've seen or heard to an adult you trust.

For more information on the Hazelden books mentioned above and other violence prevention resources, call 1-888-535-9485, or visit our online bookstore.

--Published Sept. 25, 2000