Members of Alcoholics Anonymous often describe the Twelve Steps of AA as a spiritual path. Yet the word "spiritual" immediately points to a dilemma: At times, it is easy to be spiritual, to feel light and joyous, free and forgiving. But what does spirituality mean on Tuesday afternoon at 5 p.m. after you've been laid off your job, your car has a flat tire, and the baby is crying?

How do we merge our spiritual highs with mundane reality and adversity? One answer, says the Twelve Step tradition, is to view spirituality not as a pleasant feeling but as a daily practice. And the basic practices are prayer and meditation.

Damian McElrath, PhD, a spiritual care specialist for Hazelden, notes that these practices are open to everyone, including those who call themselves atheists or agnostics. "Prayer and meditation are important simply because you owe yourself 20 minutes each day to reflect on where you are, where you have been, and where you're going," he said. "What's more, anyone can receive this daily gift, not just people recovering from addiction."

The question is how to get started. Here the basic text "Alcoholics Anonymous" (AA World Services, $6) throws out a life line. Its authors take a "no experience necessary" approach to prayer and meditation, offering concrete instructions for beginners.

We begin first thing in the morning. Upon waking, we ask "a Power greater than ourselves" to direct our thinking during the day ahead. Especially important is being willing to let go of self-pity, dishonesty and selfishness.

At times we may feel agitated or indecisive. If so, we take it easy. Instead of struggling for an answer, we trust that an appropriate course of action will soon become clear.

Then before going to sleep, we review our mental life for that day, looking for traces of resentment and fear. In addition, we plan to make any necessary apologies or amends during the 24 hours ahead. Here it is crucial to avoid "worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others," it is stated in "Alcoholics Anonymous."

To these basic instructions, McElrath adds the following suggestions for a prayer and meditation session:

1. Prepare the environment. Set aside a specific place and time. Consider shutting the door and unplugging the phone. Spiritual practice is about setting up a "container", a safe place without distractions.
2. Enter a state of relaxed alertness. Many spiritual traditions, such as yoga, emphasize posture. For example, sitting upright with a straightened spine promotes attention, alertness and relaxation, all at the same time.
3. Allow for uninterrupted silence. Listening begins as we literally quiet down. Freed from the compulsion to speak, criticize or justify ourselves, we can gain direction for our lives.
4. Give brief acknowledgments. Step Eleven uses the term "conscious contact" to describe the state of being in tune with our deepest wisdom. And when we receive guidance from that part of ourselves, we can use phrases such as "Thy will be done" or "Let it be."
5. Invite the other to say more. The test of a spiritual experience is what we do with it. Conscious contact goes deeper when we ask questions: What more do you want to say? Where shall I go now? What shall I do next?

Author Mary Hayes-Grieco emphasizes that prayer and meditation provide a welcome sense of balance for people with active lives. She calls this perspective "kitchen mysticism," noting that spiritual practice is as essential as "cooking, eating, washing dishes, and telling the truth with your close friends."

Moreover, spiritual practice is an intensely personal matter. Any instruction for prayer and meditation is only a starting point. Eventually we discover what works for us; we teach ourselves how to pray and meditate. With a little practice, we find our own way.

--Published April 13, 1998