When Shane died, Beattie unwillingly joined the "My Child Died and My Heart Is Broken and Nobody Gets It" club. Years later, she became the member of other clubs too, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, the "Empty Nest" club, the "I'm Getting Older" club, and most recently when she was diagnosed with hepatitis C, the "I've Got a Chronic Illness" club.

Beattie writes that most of us find ourselves joining these clubs whether we want to or not. "Some of the clubs are formal," writes Beattie. "Sometimes we meet people one at a time going through a similar experience as us. When a problem first appears we think we're the only one who has it. We feel alone, but soon it looks like everyone has it. When we join the club, other people become the mirror. Through them, we see ourselves and gain an understanding of what we're going through."

Stories of loss shared
In The Grief Club, Beattie holds up mirrors of loss and change by telling stories of those who have experienced such losses, her own stories among them. She chooses losses common to many, such as Alzheimer's, poor health, suicide, unfulfilled dreams, divorce, terminal illness, and death. In each chapter, she includes interesting and useful statistics, general tips for dealing with loss, activities for working through loss, and resources for readers who want more information or support services.

Those who are familiar with Beattie's best-selling books know that she is a devotee of Twelve Step recovery. Her first book, Codependent No More, was an instant hit, staying on the New York Times best-seller list for over two years. In typical Beattie fashion, however, she reaches beyond addiction and beyond the Twelve Steps, to find a thread common to all readers--not just those in recovery. "Some people think I'm an expert on codependency, but if I'm an expert at anything, it's how to take care of ourselves when we're going through loss," she writes in the introduction to The Grief Club.

"Recovering people know about living big and losing big," said Post. This makes Beattie a credible guide for all readers, since we've all experienced some sort of loss or change.

In addition to the unimaginable loss of her son, two of Beattie's ex-husbands died recently, within days of each other. Ironically, both services took place in the same chapel where her son's service had taken place. "That week I may have set a record," writes Beattie. "My name appeared in two obituaries on the same page of the same paper on the same day in the same way: 'Survived by Melody Beattie, ex-wife and dear friend.'"

Beattie said these losses pulled her back into the past, allowing her to reconcile old hurts, practice compassion for herself and others, and open the door for healing other old wounds. "People say you can't change the past. Not true. You can change it from a big ugly mistake into a history with value and worth--even the things we judge as mistakes," writes Beattie.

"You might say this book is Hazelden's When Bad Things Happen to Good People," said Post. "Melody uses her expertise as a journalist, a memoirist, and a classic self-help writer to show how grief can be transformational. She has access to a lot of interesting people, and she worked hard to honor their stories in order to offer this roadmap to healing."

Through her unflinching examination of her own life and her poignant accounts of others' journeys through grief and loss, Beattie helps readers deal with those times in our lives when the familiar is torn from us and we find ourselves pulled into the thick and frightening quicksand that is loss. With The Grief Club, Beattie extends a helping hand, offers tools for healing, and companionship along the way.

The Grief Club is available in our online bookstore, or by calling 1-800-328-9000.

--by Cynthia Orange

Codependent No More celebrates 20 years
Twenty years and more than four million copies later, loyal Melody Beattie fans continue to deliver their passionate and clear message about her popular book Codependent No More: "It's a classic: Don't change a word."

"We'll print more copies, but we won't change it," said Rebecca Post, editorial director at Hazelden Publishing. "I've seen many a person at book signings put their arms around Melody and weep, telling her, 'You saved my life.' People often buy three books at a time to give away. They'd have a fit if we changed it."

Post is especially proud to announce the 20th anniversary edition of the book, because she was the Hazelden editor who worked with Beattie to help craft the book's key message: that taking care of one's self is a radical act of healing and transformation. Post said readers trust Beattie because she talks about self-care from four avenues of experience. She was in Al-Anon as the wife of an alcoholic, she is an adult child from an abusive home, she is a recovering alcoholic, and she is a recovering drug addict.

"Since the book was first released, a whole new generation of people is now struggling with the issues Melody addresses. It's a reminder that this book is timeless."

Published in The Voice, Summer 2006