This is what William Borchert does in his new book, The Lois Wilson Story: When Love Is Not Enough. He captures the story of Bill Wilson's wife by letting it unfold slowly, by showing us what it was like to be the intimate partner of the beloved cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). He doesn't use well-worn labels like "enabler" or "codependent," but shows us through engaging anecdotes how Lois Wilson came to realize her own powerlessness over her husband's alcoholism and how that realization was the seed for Al-Anon.

AA marks its 70th anniversary this year. Since 1935, the fellowship has grown from two men--Bill W. and Dr. Bob, who poured out their hearts to each other--to over two million members worldwide. Many millions more belong to other Twelve Step groups spawned from AA philosophy.

'AA would never have happened without Lois'
"It struck me while working on this book, that AA would never have happened without Lois, because without Lois, Bill W. would not have survived," said Karen Chernyaev, senior acquisitions editor at Hazelden. "Lois Wilson has always been sort of on the sidelines of the Twelve Step movement, so it is exciting to learn the details of her life and how she contributed so much to AA and Al-Anon and how she continues to influence Al-Anon even after her death. I really believe that Bill and Lois Wilson were meant to connect and were placed on this earth to do the important work they accomplished."

Lois and Bill Wilson are heroes to recovering people worldwide and generations who credit AA and Al-Anon and the Twelve Steps with saving their lives. Like other influential heroes, they were far from perfect. The story of Lois and Bill Wilson is a poignant but not always pretty love story, and to his credit, Borchert tells this story with a straightforward candor that lets us appreciate the immense toll alcohol takes.

"Alcoholism isn't a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play," wrote Joyce Rebeta-Burditt, author of The Cracker Factory (1977). An alcoholic's destructive behavior is estimated to affect at least four other people, usually loved ones like Lois Wilson. "I used to think my life really began the day I met Bill," Lois once told Borchert. "I guess I was as addicted to him as he was to alcohol. Then he got sober--and I got well."

"Borchert brings a unique perspective to this first biography of Lois," said Chernyaev. "He knew Lois for the last 14 years of her life and taped many conversations with her." In addition, Borchert was the screenwriter for the award-winning Warner Brothers/Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, My Name is Bill W., and serves as a director of the Stepping Stones Foundation, an historical and educational nonprofit organization housed in the last residence that Bill and Lois Wilson shared in New York.

The Wilsons moved to Stepping Stones in 1941, after what Lois called their "living around" period when they changed their abode 51 times, "not counting weekend stops" during 1939 and 1940. By that time, they had lost Lois' family home and had to rely on their AA friends to help them out. But Lois was used to hardship by then. In 1925, they traveled across the country on a motorcycle and camped out while they chased one of Bill's many dreams in the exciting era of Bonnie and Clyde and the stock market boom. Despite her recent miscarriage and frequent humiliations over Bill's growing dependency on alcohol, Lois was optimistic about their future and her husband's promising career in finance. When Bill's drinking got worse, Lois tried to make him pledge on her family bible that he would stop.

However, things continued to deteriorate and Lois Wilson, the well-bred daughter of a respected doctor, found herself making excuses for her husband who sometimes wouldn't even bathe or put on clean clothes unless she forced him to. His alcoholism lasted 17 years, required frequent hospitalizations, and almost cost him his life. Bill's life changed forever when he connected with Dr. Bob Smith, and they discovered that they could keep sober by asking for God's help, helping each other, and reaching out to help other drunks like themselves.

While Bob's life improved, Lois' life got more hellish when her husband insisted on bringing alcoholics home with him to dry out. "I guess I thought that once he stopped drinking, everything would go back to what it was like before, happy and loving," she told Borchert.

Kitchen meeting gives birth to Al-Anon
She often felt excluded and grew resentful of Bill's fellowship meetings. One meeting night she walked outside their house and noticed car after car in which a lone woman sat waiting for her husband to emerge from Bill's meeting. She impulsively invited them in for tea and lemonade, and they began to share their feelings and rage about their respective husband's alcoholism and how it had dramatically affected their lives. Although she did not know it then, this first "kitchen meeting" gave birth to Al-Anon.

The Wilsons lived through world wars, prohibition, the Great Depression, and other events that serve as a fascinating backdrop to Borchert's book. "This book tells an old story in a way that history should be written," said Chernyaev. "It is a story of faith and hope that will appeal to everyone, especially to people in recovery and their loved ones. Just knowing the roots of a movement that is so intrinsic to your life has got to be gratifying."

In his author's note to the book, Borchert reminds readers of what the famous writer Aldous Huxley once said: "That when the history of the twentieth century is finally written, the greatest achievements America will be known for will be giving the world Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon."

Bill Wilson died in 1971. Lois Wilson died in 1988, at the age of 97. Their simple white marble gravestones in Vermont record their names and Bill's military rank. Neither stone mentions AA or Al-Anon, but writers like Borchert and books like The Lois Wilson Story guarantee that their story will live on.

For more on this book, visit www.hazelden.org/bookstore.

--by Cynthia Orange

Published in The Voice - Summer 2005