Episode 192 -- February 14, 2022

Meditation Monday: Patience Brings Peace

Welcome to Meditation Monday. We're pausing each Monday for a few minutes of reflection and inspiration from the authors of the Hazelden Meditation series of books.

Meditations are daily reflections, prayers, slogans and phrases intended to offer inspiration and comfort, and—above all—hope to those of us in recovery.

The selections for this mid-month Meditation Monday come from some of Hazelden's bestselling recovery resources: Walk in Dry Places, Answers in the Heart, and Keepers of the Wisdom. Together, these three meditations focus on serenity and patience, especially as we interpret the things that happen to us and receive feedback from others.

Walk In Dry Places

Mental Arguments are Bad Thinking
Serenity
Again and again we hear that bad thinking and drinking are linked together. Bad thinking is any line of thought that tends to be destructive. Mental arguments are in that class because they destroy peace of mind and self-control. We can avoid them by learning acceptance and maintaining serenity at all costs. Sometimes we engage in mental arguments with those who seem to have defeated us or put us down. This only gives more life to the hurt we have been feeling; in effect, we cooperate in hurting ourselves repeatedly. Even the satisfaction of letting ourselves "win" the mental argument doesn't really settle the matter. We can maintain our serenity in all situations by accepting people as they are. We are not responsible for changing their opinions. We must also accept and dismiss past mistakes and failures, no matter who was at fault. We owe it to ourselves not to destroy another moment's happiness with futile mental arguments that serve no good purpose in our lives. Once we dismiss mental arguments, we can give our time and attention to things that really matter.

I will not waste a single second on any kind of mental argument. Anything another person said or did is forgiven and forgotten, and it has no power to hurt me a second time.

Answers in The Heart

The handwriting on the wall may be a forgery.
— Ralph Hodgson

Too often we addicts are superstitious. We interpret signs in negative or hostile ways. Because we don't believe in ourselves, we tend to think that fate is against us. But life isn't for us or against us. If we are attentive we will see many signs of promise during each day. Signs of promise, signs of goodness, signs of beauty. And if we trust ourselves and our Higher Power, we will know how to interpret the world and use it to do good. Sometimes we may be unsure of our next step or even our general direction. If we are patient and alert to the world around us, we will pick up hints and clues that will help us on our way—a friend's phone call, a warm hug, a chance encounter, a job offer, a word of advice from a loved one. When we are ready, we'll know how to respond and what to do. One thing we are learning to be sure of: in this world of signs, we are not alone.

I don't want to believe in a hostile fate. The world is good and I am finding my way in it by being patient and learning to read the signs.
— PW

Keepers of the Wisdom

My entire life used to be based on what people thought of me. That's not so true anymore.
— Sandy Warman

Most of us focused too much on what others thought of us, didn't we? Sandy's experience is all too familiar, but it's best if we don't criticize ourselves for that at this stage. Rather, let's acknowledge that our concerns about others' opinions might have even prompted us to make more sensible choices on occasion. Whatever contributed to our evolution played its part. If we're not satisfied with the outcome, we can make changes that will affect our future now. It was pretty difficult to be insulated from the opinions and criticisms of others when we were attempting to make our marks in the world of work. Not uncommonly, we all wanted friends and respect from our peers. This wish hasn't entirely changed for most of us; however, we are less concerned than we used to be. One of the benefits of growing older is that we can "grow into ourselves" more. We can claim all of our parts more easily, thus we can let the opinions that others have of us roll off. This freedom may not be second nature to us yet. We have to get accustomed to the idea that we're fine just as we are. Having a spiritual program can help. Having friends we can trust to share our concerns with helps, too.

I do care what others think. That's okay. However, I need not be controlled by them today.

Hazelden meditation books offer a brief reading for every day of the year. Today's selection from Walk in Dry Places is from February 16. The meditation from Answers in the Heart is from February 17. The selection from Keepers of the Wisdom is from February 19.

About the Author:
Walk in Dry Places was written by Mel B.
The authors of Answers in the Heart, a man and a woman, have chosen to remain anonymous.
Keepers of the Wisdom was written by Karen Casey

Walk in Dry Places © 1996 by Hazelden Foundation
Answers in the Heart © 1989 P. Williamson and S. Kiser
Keepers of the Wisdom © 1996 by Karen Casey
All rights reserved